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There’s a lot here. I need to read and have time to self reflect.

“Visions of violent war, global famine, nauseating illness and environmental destruction. I saw and felt addiction, rape, loss, scandal, disaster, betrayal, judgement, despair, dread, hopelessness, humiliation, guilt, failure, shame, death.”

Yes. That’s what I’ve experienced. That along with my childhood NDE, intergenerational trauma, experiences with archangels, it’s difficult to reconcile. It feels very heavy. I’m reading the Grof article you suggested. Thanks for offering that. It’s good to know I’m not alone. I’m finally getting a sense that other people might be able to relate thanks to Substack.

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Beautiful story.

I’m so glad you had the wisdom and ability to stay still when the thoughts of self harm occurred.

It’s funny how the solution is often surrender and stillness!

Lately I’ve been wondering how we can develop the opposite qualities, if bold action and forward propulsion

I wonder if there’s a meditative or psychedelic dark night equivalent for cultivating proactive effort

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Thank you, and me too :)

Good question. On some level, I think other components of this experience, like being damned by God leads to forward propulsion through a need for redemption.

Il be digging into the idea of redemption in the next parts!

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wow, thank u for sharing & illustrating so honestly. glad u survived to tell the tale 💜

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How would you recommend someone get the benefits of this trip without the risks associated with it? Seems like it helped you but could’ve easily gone bad

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I have a supportive family and a relatively healthy mind to thank, as well as serendipity (my mom bought me a book about Buddhism at the same time I started taking psychedelics). Buddhism, yoga and meditation helped me integrate this trip. I was fortunate to have the right pieces in place.

I wouldn't recommend anyone "try" to have this trip. I certainly wasn't trying. It was an accident, but also my destiny, I feel. If someone were to experience something similar, I'd recommend finding a transpersonal therapist, learning about Buddhism, yoga and / or any other spiritual tradition that speaks to them, practicing / dedicating oneself to a spiritual practice, and focusing on integrating the experience.

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