I love to practice things. Various things.
Some of my favourite practices are meditation, running, and writing.
Unfortunately, ever since giving up cannabis in 2022, I stopped writing.
Writing was my sole creative practice, so since I’m not writing, I’m not creating.
Today, I began wanting to write again. This prompted the question whether I should restart consuming cannabis because getting high helped me write. Although I love getting high and writing, I quickly figured I need to find out if I can love just writing.
Since giving up weed, I doubled down on practicing the things I already practiced. I haven’t tried anything new. When I got high a lot, I used weed as an excuse for not doing the things I’m still not doing. Now I know it’s not the weed’s fault. It’s mine.
I need to practice other things. Creative things that manifest more of my spirit. I live in my head mostly and build ideas in there without expressing many of them. There’s more to explore. More to do. Meditation and exercise aren’t enough, and I do these because they come easy to me. I love to push my body really hard and I love to sit still and do absolutely nothing. Perhaps I need to relax my body, let my mind run wild, and express my spirit instead. Maybe not actually. I’ll just express my spirit more.
I’ll continue to meditate and run, but I’ll also do more art, including writing.
This is what I’m doing now.
Pat on the back.
Facing Resistance
I’m overflowing with ideas but I don’t act on them because I fear the friction and subsequent frustration between bringing my visions into reality through practice.
I am resisting my nature because of fear.
I know that practicing something can be transcendent. It has been for me before. However it usually isn’t in the beginning. Initially, practice is difficult, demanding and sometimes complicated as we learn the basic skills which are foundational to the practice we engage in. Eventually, the activities required by the practice become second nature, and we lose ourselves in the flow of practice. This is the sexy part.
Ultimately, a practice becomes an act of self-transcendence. As we hone our attention on the present moment through the focus necessitated by the practice, the ego dissolves and we become submerged in the fullness of the eternal present.
Moments pass without self-awareness. We become the moment. This is what the Zen masters and yogis go on about. This is it. This is the essence of a life well-lived. This is the secret sauce of many spiritual traditions. Master your practice to master life.
Getting here takes time, patience, and dedication though. We all know that, so how do we overcome the resistance? We don’t. We just push through it.
Sometimes I really don’t want to do something, so I don’t. Sometimes I want to do something a little bit, then I do it, and I pick up momentum, and I quickly start to enjoy it enough to want to do it again. The key is to pick up a practice that isn’t too difficult to get into, but isn’t too easy to be boring. Of course, it also has to be something you’re interested in. Once you find that practice, dive into it, without diving too deep. If you go too hard too quickly, you might lose interest. Enjoy the mystery. Take time.
So don’t wait too long, but next time you feel inspired to practice that thing you keep telling yourself you’ll practice but don’t, just do it. Make Nike proud. Get sponsored.
The Last Part
The beauty of practice is that anything can be practice. And when framed as practice, any activity can become a meaningful project to devote ourselves completely to and lose ourselves in. Practice thus becomes a path to self-transcendence, and ultimately self-realization too. Since practice is intentional and effortful in nature, it will usually be good for us while inspiring a good life. Practice often holds the main goal of self-expression or improving performance rather than pure enjoyment, but pure enjoyment can be practice too. Lastly, practice is often performed without immediate reward.
Although I love rewards, especially immediate one’s, I must practice delaying rewards. As an ex-weed-addict, I’m accustomed to getting a surge of dopamine for no reason. However, with most meaningful endeavours, the reward is the endeavour itself and / or comes later when intentional efforts compound into the manifestation of a vision, the expression of beauty or the refined development of a particular skill.
I have seen this process unfold in meditation and running. At first, I didn’t enjoy either very much and my lack of ability made me sad. I pushed through because I knew these were good for me. Now I love them both. A lot. Maybe too much.
I vow to keep practicing things, especially creative things like writing and sewing.
Practicing things is the way.
Please “like” or “heart” this essay. The dopamine surge makes me feel good.
Peace and love.