I haven’t written much lately, although I want to.
I’ll start typing only to realize I don’t have anything genuine to say. Maybe I’m writing for you again, instead of for me. Maybe I’m imagining the end result instead of appreciating the process. Not present. Maybe I don’t feel like writing because I’m busy living. Maybe I have nothing to express.
Whatever it is, it isn’t flowing. I feel stuck.
Sometimes I think I might not like writing, but then I wonder why I do it. I certainly find joy in crafting an essay, exploring ideas, organizing them somehow, expressing and sharing them. Sometimes I worry I write because I can’t express myself any other way; a prisoner of words unable to communicate what I feel and think through other mediums. Maybe I just need more practice with other mediums.
Other times, I love writing.
I’m overflowing with ideas that I cannot contain. I would eventually suffer. Nor do I want to keep them to myself because they are good ideas, and they may serve you.
I write to express and to share who I am. To express who I am is to be vulnerable with myself, and to share is to be vulnerable with you. Vulnerability is difficult. Yet, as I allow myself to be vulnerable, things begin to flow.
I feel less stuck. I open. Present moment awareness. Flowing on a wave of ideas.
I get stuck when I try to express something that isn’t there. Something that isn’t authentic to where I’m at and who I am. However, on the occasion when something true is there, the words flow from my head to fingers, and it all makes sense.
As I write, I lose track of time and become completely present. I forget myself. In the forgetting, I know myself completely because I am what I am. There’s no more who to express, there’s just expression. There’s nothing to share, there’s just sharing. The ideas flow into the world through the words that are written, but no one’s writing.
Like birds from a cage, ideas are released onto a page. I let go of who I am and become what I am. There are many who’s in this world, but only one what.
From this what, everything flows.
Thanks for reading and sharing your time and attention.
Let me know if you enjoyed this.
Peace.